The first thing to say to anyone wanting to visit this major death camp is to be prepared, go with an open mind and absorb what you are told and what you see. I will try to explain in my words what happened to me, my views and as you might expect, how we as a race must never let this happen again, in any shape or form. 

I have for a very long time wanted to visit, to pay my respects and offer my peace to over a million souls that perished in such a barbaric way, either within 30 minutes, in the gas chambers with the notorious cyclon B, to many days from being experimented on, to several months; all depending on how you were selected at the time of your arrival. I will go into this a little later.  

The nearest airport to Auschwitz is Kraków, and it takes just over 2 hours from London to fly there. The city has many interesting places to visit, including Schindler’s factory, who tried to rescue as many as he could, once he discovered what was really going on. There are the Ghettos, and this will give you a sense of what was happening before the forced removal to Auschwitz. 

There were many concentration camps scattered over Europe but this one was the largest and people were transported here from all over Europe and fed the propaganda that this was going to be the last place they would come to before going to the promised land. Of course, this was so far from the truth, other than their demise.  

The day of the visit

There are many tours and times to visit, I recommend the early one, as I discovered many visitors from all over Poland arrive each day. This did mean a 5 am coach pick up from my hotel and just under a 2-hour drive to Auschwitz. As you get closer, the atmosphere on the coach begins to change, and your guide will explain the rules of the visit and what you have to do. Security is tight at the camp and similar to an airport, so your bag will be scanned and you will pass through the “loop”. Try to bring as little as you can, you are allowed water. You will be walking in total over 5 miles during your visit, so sensible shoes and clothing are essential. There are a few areas that photographs are not allowed and it is clear why; respect where you are, this is a memorial and it is overwhelming. 

From the car park and security, it has been carefully arranged that you can’t see the camp, and you are taken downstairs to collect your headset and audio transmitter, for your guide to talk to you without having to shout. 

You are then taken into a long, wide tunnel, and over the PA system, the names of those who were killed are read out on a continuous loop. I would imagine it’s just run once a day.

When you leave the tunnel, the camp is then in front of you, and you walk about 5 minutes to the famous entrance “Arbeit Macht Frei” (work sets you free) how far from the truth this was and yet those taken here, like us visiting calmly walked inside not knowing what was going to happen. You are then shown where the “orchestra” sat playing each day as prisoners were brought past from the main gate or taken off to do work as dictated by the Third Reich.  They were instructed to play “upbeat” music to enable the counting process at roll call, and at the start was a male-only orchestra, but towards the end was a mix of female and male musicians. Probably as they were depleted of male players, due to their extermination. 

You are then walked around the various buildings and shown the horrendous display cases of people’s hair, which was removed when they arrived, to shoes, cases, and many medical aids, from crutches to walking frames, wheelchairs – anyone who had a disability was murdered very quickly upon arrival. You are shown where they slept and the overcrowded rooms, and the extermination block and wall where initially they were led to be shot. 

They realised, of course, that a bigger plan was needed to terminate the 1000’s that were arriving each day, which is when the experiments of using gas (Cyclon B) were decided upon. 

The last building you are shown is where Dr Josef Mengele experimented on both the forced sterilisation of females and horrid experiments on children, mainly twins, which he had some bizarre fascination. Plus, of course, other children with disabilities they were killed at his pleasure. 

You are then walked towards the only remaining gas chamber, through the inner perimeter electric fence, to this area that shows this bunker; just outside the entrance, is the actual gallows that were used to execute Rudolf Hoess after the war and the Nuremberg trials. His living accommodation was less than 50 yards from this gas chamber, where he lived with his family and children, his youngest being born at the camp. Again, the mix of horror and yet family life went on close, side by side. 

You are then allowed to enter the gas chamber, passing through the solid metal door that was sealed once you were inside, a dark space, with dim lights, and remains of scratches on the wall where the occupants tried in vain to escape once the gas started to take effect. The gas canisters dropped in through the roof vents, and in less than 30 minutes, all would be dead. 

The second inner door would be opened, and this led to the cremators where the bodies were burnt, and then the ash taken to nearby forests to be scattered. Remember all this within yards of family homes. 

Of course, this was not big enough for the number of Jews and others to be killed, so we were then put back on the bus and driven the 10 minutes to Auschwitz 2 – Birkenau “The final solution”. The more seen camp on tv and films with the famous building that has the railway passing through into the wide area where the tracks divide. This is where the sorting began…. In a very efficient way. 

Trains would arrive, and the people jumped down or were helped down onto the ground. There were no platforms like we all know, so quite a big drop. They were lined up, women and children, the sick and disabled in one line and everyone else in another. The real shock hit me, that would mean, all 3 of mine would be terminated and probably my eldest experimented on under Dr Josef Mengele ….. I shuddered… and had a gut-wrenching moment. 

They were told to leave their belongings as they would get them back later. One senior officer would be at the front of the lines, then deciding whether people turned right (spared) or left (the gas chambers) and the line would slowly walk the ½ mile or so towards their death. Of course, still not realising this was going to happen. The design of them was quite amazing, if that is the right word, for such a horrendous place. They were built semi-underground to disguise them with the main entrance being down a slope, so all could enter easily, into this large room, with hooks and benches and told due to the length of time they had been travelling they were to have a proper shower and be clean for the next part of their journey to the promised land. The guide said there was rarely any panic, and although the numbers far outweighed the number of guards and as a collective could have stopped it, we all comply, especially if things were done calmly. 

So they removed their clothes, hung them on the hooks, and were told to enter the second room, which even had fake shower heads in the ceiling. The inner solid door was then shut, and an officer dropped the Cyclon B in through the roof and waited….. 

The Third Reich didn’t do any of the horrid parts themselves…  the captives who were spared cleared the clothing from the first room, and when ½ hour or so passed and all were dead, would then go in and start to cremate the bodies – again the ash was taken to the local forests for dumping.  They would be able to kill up to 1000 per day, and they had 4 chambers on the site in total towards the end of the time before the Russians found the camp.  

At one stage, there were too many for the chambers to deal with, and huge fire pits were dug where the bodies were just dumped and set alight. 

There is a memorial at the end of the camp to honour the dead, and it’s very moving indeed. 

We were then shown a hut where the ones who were kept alive lived, if you can call it living.  Packed into small multilayer bunks, with no heat, sanitation, and disease was rife. Told about the small amounts of food they had, and yet still expected to work long days. Their life expectancy was usually about 6 months, which again was a shock as I thought the ones that were “spared” made it… only a very few did. As I thought about this horrid place, in some ways, it would have been better be picked for extermination than this additional suffering, which still left the majority to be murdered. The full operation of this camp was 18 months to again show you the scale of how many were terminated in a relatively short amount of time. 

We were then left to walk back and take in this area of such horror and sadness and make our way back to the bus.  It was a surreal journey back through beautiful countryside to Krakow. Nature concealing these bad events. 

To summarise, I do feel everyone should visit and absorb what went on here; to see what extremism can do when it takes power and how we can accept and follow rules even if they do not make sense. Even if we are inflicting such bad things on our own people as the captives, in the hope of staying alive, would do. 

Extremism at any level, Is not acceptable and we must call them out at an early stage, which sadly in 2025, we are not doing enough to stop history repeating.  

Thanks for reading

 Richard – 22^nd May 2025

Ode to the Reaper

Mr G Reaper was lurking in my street

I looked out from my window and saw his Ash covered feet

I knew it was him, but looked so different from what is portrayed

I was a little forward and sounded very dismayed

As I called out from my window

“not here not today!”

He moved to my garden gate, looked up and smiled and said in reply

“Give me one good reason that I should pass by?”

I thought for a while

I mustered all the energy I had and shouted

“It’s just not fair that things are this way”

He nodded quite accepting, almost understanding what I said

Well Richard its like this, I have a quota to take the dead

Don’t think of me as horrid, or nasty you see

I help those cross the rainbow bridge and even set them free

Free from this world of pain and upset and the blues

The stories that happen every day and you call it news

I call it life or in my case death, someone has to do this task

Even if it leaves those feeling be-reatht

He smiled once again, fumbling in his long black coat

Pulling out his iPhone – making a subtle note

Hmmm ok, I’m not due here tonight

But when I pass again

Someone from here will have to join the flight

Its just how things are see

Please don’t think bad of me

A gentle breeze blew in my face and he just disappeared

Was that really death I spoke to, it feels kinda weird

At least I know what is ahead of us and he seemed like he did care

Even if this life at times seems very very unfair.

RAS October 2024

What’s this about…?

I’m not sure about you, but I watched with disbelief a few years ago at the news of people queuing, shoving, fighting, screaming to get a “bargain.” There would be some justification if it was food they needed as they were starving, or that their lives were under threat unless they got hold of a particular item.

No, this was consumerism gone bad, showing the worse type of being human there can be. Greed, all for me and none for you and people falling for the worse form of sales techniques. If you watched the TV people were not just content with buying one TV but 3, or 2 toasters or many kettles! Why? Some of the makes bought were not expensive models either but un-branded and low price anyway… the art of sales, even done this way, is about setting the bait, getting people to bite then upselling to other non reduced item! It happens all the time but yet many of us still fall into the trap.

When I started my first management role, for a very well-known fast-food chain, you were encouraged to “upsell” the items and human psychology is 9/10 you would say yes! “Burger and fries” “is that a large fries?” “yes” – increased your profit on that sale by 50% instantly…

“Would like that sale price tv” “Do you have a HDMI lead?” “No” gottcha! They could be much higher price than elsewhere!

Or “Sorry the sale item has now gone, but for £40 more you can have….” “yes” if your set to buy something then it takes a strong thinking person to go “not today”

I will admit I did look on amazon at their Black Friday deals…. All old stock and of no requirement to what I need. That is a regular ploy the sales process uses.

A bargain is and will only be a bargain if you need it in the first place! So think wisely, shop wisely and enjoy Christmas with people not material items…

It had been a very tricky few days here, my daughter, has bouts of deep depression that have led in the past to self-harm and a total pointless existence. For anyone who has faced this, or supported others you will know that like a thick winters fog, it can consume not only the person but those around them.

When the odds are (-ve) stacked the brain processes down as the best option. All you can do is support and be there for that person and try to stay (+ve) much easier said than done.

My daughter has CP and is autistic and processes the world differently to most, added to this the abuse that she faced from a family member, which lasted many years, unknown to us as parents has created the perfect storm of lack of self-worth and personal hate.

We have tried lots of ways to help her, sadly the more critical interventions, when she disclosed the first time were poorly delivered causing even more upset.

So… why have I said empty is a good thing?

The latest depression was big and the flood gates couldn’t hold this one back and broke; it poured and poured – then EMPTY set in, my daughter described that feeling as even worse. I sat and pulled every resource of my learnings over the years, thinking what we could do.

Empty…. EMPTY! What does that look like, sound like, feel like… I said simply, empty means you can now fill it with what you want. No restrictions. No barriers. Its yours. A blank look was given; then I thought, and said – imagine a farmers field, in the winter, nothing in it, but look what happens during the year, crops grow or sometimes its left without. However, its still important and still much wanted and needed. I saw a flutter of eyelids; the brain was processing and a smile.

We had unlocked part of the puzzle, given hope that the future doesn’t have to be empty and I know this wouldn’t have worked if I tried a few years ago, timing is vital to our mental health. So if you are reading this feeling empty, then be kind to yourself and create your field of what you want and who you want in it.

Worth a try, you have nothing to lose when all you see is nothing.

Richard Searson – January 2023

*     The main supplier of medical food supplements is a company called Nutricia – they are based in the Nederland’s and since Brexit it is proving very difficult to get them delivered. Fine if just a supplement, not if it is your only source of nutrition

** The PPE contracts and track and trace cost the UK a fortune of wasted funds, lining the pockets of certain people. NHS health care funding spend more time scrutinising the small funds and letting millions flood away.

Finally, the report has been published after 20 long years on the inadequacies of maternity services in the Shropshire Area. Those poor parents that tried to seek and gain understanding but faced the hospital legal stony uncaring wall, using the tactics given by lawyers to discredit them rather than what was happening from within the NHS itself. For the 200 or so needless baby deaths and the many left with lifelong issues it is appalling.

I will be the first to say, as I have said many times the NHS on the whole is amazing to treat at point of need our ills and woes, to give lifesaving interventions and to be there in times of crisis. However, when the cracks appear they need to be investigated and done so quickly, not just a bulk pack of Polly filler and whitewash and hope it will go away.

On the news it also mentioned Cumbria as a problem for maternity issues, I would like to say I feel it is more than just these two areas. From our own experience from my eldest being born in 1996 to my daughter in 1998 things were already changing to this natural birth “at all costs” mentality.

Being a man, I know I won’t ever have that full on experience of carrying a child, the changes, the pressures and what it is actually like and when it is your first time it is all very new indeed and you do seek guidance on the whole thing. I always remember the adverts back in the late 70s about “this lady has had 90 babies, this one 60 and this man over 100” showing the professionals that will help “this is her first” but she is in safe hands.

We planned for a natural delivery for our son but my wife began to struggle with breathing and they did a C-Section which went like a dream, very calm, methodical and he arrived with no complications. With a follow up to say there is no reason why you cannot have more children if you wish to.

In 1998, we were expecting our 2^nd child, the pregnancy was difficult and due to the issues with our first they said it would be another C-Section to avoid any problems. The day arrived… contractions started and the issues from our first started to happen. However the hospital said they were trying for a natural delivery, even though in the notes it said C-Section – I queried that, of course my comments were not heard and the time dragged on, they said they would make the decision in the evening. That came and then was told they never do C-Sections at night! Really?!? It dragged onto the following day and finally 26 hours later they performed a C-Section rather urgently. In the delivery they also caught the umbilical round my daughters neck and for over 3 minutes she wasn’t breathing. A very worrying time until her gasps of life and noise happened. The damage however had been done and very early on we could tell the difference between our son and our newly arrived daughter.

We did report this to be told very quickly “we were over anxious parents” that’s a really good put down line isn’t it? We persisted and finally had to pay to see a Paed privately who took one look at my daughter to say “you have a problem here” and set up an MRI scan fairly quickly and sure enough she had cerebral palsy caused by oxygen starvation at birth. The paed said this should be investigated when I told her my observations of the 26 hour labour… This we did and like the many parents as mentioned above faced all they did and more and that impenetrable wall of lawyers casting doubt on my observations, saying I was no medic and that never happened! Well it did – end of!

All we wanted, like many from the report, was someone to say “sorry” plain and simple and to learn from it. Not much to ask for really.

At least as I look back on 23 years my daughter is still with us, yes finds life difficult but is doing her best in this strange phenomenon called “human”.

Court room dramas are not a new thing for daytime television. In fact as a child I remember a lunch time programme called “Crown Court” which ran over a week and based on a true story, where a real jury was used to decide the outcome.

Most of us are intrigued by the workings of our judicial process but hope it never happens to us. A court for those not used to the environment, can be daunting and a scary place, steeped in tradition and the higher the court you go, the more “official” it becomes.

The TV courts of today, give an interesting observation of the types of civil cases people bring against one another. Some make sense, others bizarre! Usually all result from a breakdown in communication and the “Im right – you’re wrong” statement.

The reason I like watching them, is to observe human behaviour and how courts run, this could benefit how we are in everyday life. We all create “story” around what we experience, see, observe and do. Most of the time we are spot on but there are times when we “add” to a story or “create” other meanings sometimes for our own gain, but mostly as a protection to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

If you look at how both TV Judges work (and any Judge for that matter) they work on cold factual evidence – Judge Rinder almost purrs when he has paperwork in front of him to clarify a murky “he said – she said” argument.

The same can be applied when I work with clients (only a little less formal) I will often ask, when an issue unfolds, “what’s the evidence that she/he did that?” and more importantly “what have you personally made this mean?”

Once you start to break down the issue new light is the shed and new possibilities can start to come out. The major difference between coaching and a court is with coaching there is a positive outcome for you, those around you and your future.

Today (2/9) marks our 26^th Wedding Anniversary, usually with anniversaries you mark the years with particular theme such as 1 = paper, 2 = cotton, 3 = leather through to 10, then it jumps to 15, 20, 25, 30,40, 50, 60 etc

I have never understood why the increments get larger the longer you are married, and perhaps other, less material gifts should be interjected within the milestone years. So, for our 26^th year I am proposing that “hope” is our gift to each other this year.

Hope that we can continue to be strong together.

Hope that we can be strong for others.

Hope that the many health issues we face on a regular basis is stronger than the problems encountered and will pull us through.

Hope to still be here for the next anniversary.

The vowels we both took, 26 years ago, certainly have been tested and again hope for our 26^th year is a good thing to readjust the balance…. for better, for richer, for health.

Our hope is our future, I hope it is yours to.

There is a quote that says, “if you always do what you have always done – you will always get what you always got” grammatically very poor, but the message is spot on.

Yes the human condition of getting stuck in a set way becomes harder to shift the older we all get.  Remember the brain loves to take the path of least resistance and any new way or change, it has to actually fire some new neurons and synapses – this takes of course energy to do.

Don’t be fooled that your brain doesn’t care about new things, but has an energy saving device, which is permanently set to on.  It also has a deep-set program that also wants the best for you so anything new it has to do, will be treated with caution until it has done its usual checks!

We can of course over-ride these but it takes a little work and you will experience the normal bodily reactions as the brain cannot talk to you, but it can send other signals… such as “butterflies” in the tummy, dry mouth if it feels your under threat, faster breathing etc

At the end of the day…. You have a choice…. Stay as you are or move forward. Remember though change is a constant. For example only 20 years ago 1% of us in the UK had internet access from home, only a few years before that the chair of IBM said he could not see the need for everyone having a home computer!

I suggest when coaching or supporting others to create the futures they want, is to acknowledge the feelings they are getting, work through the list of resistance and providing it will not cause you harm (real harm) try it. What is the worse that can happen to most decisions we make in the UK?

Worth a thought and create the future you want, rather than the one you have already had.

Generally I am a positive person, I have learnt that ability to take on a situation, work it through and more often than not, it ends in a positive outcome. Many have said when they meet me “Are you really that positive all the time?

“No!” is my reply, “As life isn’t that simple.”

Humans are very adaptable to their situations and the unconscious mind will make sure you are kept as safe and well as possible.

However things happen and sometimes when you least expect them, the proverbial “curve ball” is thrown. The negative feelings attached to these then flood the system and your brain does its best to deal with it. Most of the time it does a good job, and you can learn and move on.

However, what about trauma? Violence? Abuse? Which can leave the mind reeling with so many unanswered questions as to “Why me?”

The words from the G4 song – “Everybody hurts” says this:

“When the day is long and the night is yours alone, When you’re sure you have had enough of this life – well hang on”

I am not saying one song will make it all better, but to hang on is vital to whatever you are facing, going through or dealing with. There will be people to support you and to rebuild any trust you may have lost. This will take time, but never give up….

This blog is not an advertisement for my coaching services, but to hopefully give some positive advice to those who feel they have to suffer in silence, please don’t. There are professionals that can let you be the person you want to be…

I wrote the above a few years ago and it is still relevant, this last year has for many been very difficult indeed, having your usual routines changed quite significantly, so if you are in a difficult place do seek support, it is not a weakness.

Richard

But something much bigger!

Jesse J had a hit track with “pricetag” which in many ways sums up the commercial world we all live in. Everything has a price tag, the written price and hidden one.  The best deal if bought today, the mangers special etc

One line is very interesting in the song “the sale comes first and the truth comes second” how many of us get surrounded by the sales patter and the promises that perhaps, even with the consumer protection laws we now have, leave us unhappy or disappointed with the purchase we have made?

So the dawn of organisations such as Which and of course on television; Watchdog, Rip off Britain to name a couple that expose unfairness and poor practice and these tactics certainly do work most times. However there are some organisations that will continue to deliver bad customer service in how they operate, not illegal but a general apathy. They become so large that they do not value their most valued asset namely the people, both the internal and external customer.

I was, once again today, held in a queue to a certain “world” mobile phone provider being told how important my call was but they were very busy…. Finally getting through to be told “wrong department” which happened 3 times…. then as in the previous 2 calls to them suddenly “cut-off” what does that give you as a value? Its beyond the price tag and very little indeed, in fact I’m sure this approach is not just singled out to me either…  “the sale comes first…” over my time with this organisation I’ve had more poor support  than good – I guess senior management either allow it or too apathetic to stop it…  a dangerous game to play no matter what size your organisation is or what service it provides. The King Canute management theory kicks in… and look what happened to him when the tide turned?

The mirror of this, before you think I have an issue with large organisations, is another major landline provider I also spoke to today, was simply fantastic. Made me feel valued, supported and saved me money, the unseen pricetag and wasn’t just a scripted conversation.

The art of sales and value of that sale and customer should never be compromised, no matter who you are or where you work from the receptionist to the CEO, work together, be strong and never forget we all have a choice, we have our personal values too – if you don’t like being treated like a number, a remote voice, a waste of time – then don’t do it to others. “Wanna make the world dance? Then forget about the price tag…” but never compromise on customer care.

I am sure, like me, you often play through in your mind the “what-if” scenario.  Or “if only I…”  Or the wider extent, as in the film Sliding Doors, the possible implications of missing a train.  It is a very interesting movie showing two alternate stories that have two very different outcomes…

Yes, that is fiction and good entertainment which allows the grey stuff up top to re-churn the “what-if “ and “if only I” statements. The thing is, at the time, all of us make the decisions we feel are right at that moment. Some things we decide we can almost 100% guarantee the outcome and so no issues arise. We place our past knowledge, experiences and results to forward project a future outcome. Great if the outcome is what you want, need or require.

However, what if your outcomes are not what you expect? Or you’re so wrapped up in your past that the wording “history repeats” keeps shouting at you? How many times would this have to happen before you decide enough is enough? Or do you just accept that’s the way it’s going to be?

I, like so many, was in that loop many years ago, until discovering more about me that I could ever imagine possible. Once you start on the road of self-discovery the results can be amazing, not just for you but also for those around you. I make no apologies for saying how having a personal coach can make that difference, and that is not a sales pitch! Coaching really does work, shifting your thinking, blowing away past cobwebs and enabling you to be the best, even if you do miss the train occasionally!

Sliding Doors

Richard

Take a few seconds to re-read the title for this blog, you will soon realise that we are all communicating all of the time.  Even if our mouths are not moving! Difficult to believe I know, but it is true. :-)

You would have heard of body language and non-verbal communication – the thing that happens, usually without much conscious thought, ahead of anything that projects from our mouths. It takes a lot of conscious effort to hide what are natural reactions to our surroundings.

I hear, “She had a real poker face – I couldn’t tell her intentions”

“He looked angry from the start, I knew this wouldn’t be easy”

Sometimes our own processing of what we see will rely on our set of values, experiences and understanding of that situation. We can then, of course,  sometimes get it wrong.

An easy test for you…. Next time you are feeling happy about something or something good has just happened, go for a walk perhaps around your local area and observe what is happening - a little “people watching”

Likewise, the next time something has annoyed you, repeat the exercise.

What do you notice? If you are pre-disposed to the “happy” feeling you will see this in others, you will notice people smiling or generally content.  Likewise if you’re angry, you will see this in others too.

The purpose of this blog is to give you more awareness of how sometimes our feelings and emotions can project onto others and our perceptions can be manipulated just by how our day is going….

Worth a thought!

I am of course talking about Aggression, Bullying and Conflict.  We hear these words all the time, on TV, in the street and at work.  These are 3 words that the majority of us want to avoid like the plague and will do most things to keep clear of the connotations and aftermath they create.

I would like to take each one in turn this week and look at the meanings behind the words and perhaps some suggestions of how we can deal with them. I’m no expert of course, but over time you learn how to deal with perhaps more “difficult” conversations; sometimes it works and others you go away, hide under a stone and then learn from it.

Aggression - Def: Feelings of anger or antipathy resulting in hostile or violent behaviour; readiness to attack or confront.

“He was aggressive towards me, my life felt threatened” is a very serious statement and needs to be acted on without hesitation. We also know that there are people who have aggressive tendencies. As they choose this behaviour as they think it is the right way to get the results they are looking for. I’m sure you would have seen this, perhaps someone complaining at a customer service desk? Which is why many organisations place up warning notices protecting their employees from such behaviour.  However it may seem like it works and that the person who is aggressive will “win” in reality they don’t but we have to feel confident in dealing with that type of situation. The best way is to be assertive, stick to the bottom line and keeping calm*!

Bullying - Def: “A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.”

The classic answer here is those who are “weaker” a bully never takes on someone of similar standing or deemed more “powerful” and sadly it does happen quite a lot. This is the one we need to be watchful around others and not to be frightened to speak up, either if it is happening to you or you see it happening to others. We all have the right to be treated with respect and understanding as an adult or as a child.

Conflict - Def: “A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.Immediately so many people use this word when someone has said a few harsh things, perhaps because they are under pressure, perhaps because they feel backed into a corner, but the true meaning is above, so something over a longer period of time and serious by nature. The Middle East is in conflict not Jo Bloggs because her PA has missed the post.  That is a possible performance issue and should be dealt with very differently.

So that is my blog for this week, longer than usual but I hope interesting look at the behaviours that do not serve us well as people. For more information on confidence or assertiveness support then please contact me.

Richard

So here I am on the cross trainer at the gym, working out and reflecting on where I've been so far in my life’s journey.

It has certainly been an interesting journey, particularly over the last few months and years, and I hope by reflecting on this and sharing what I have learnt with you it could help make a difference to you and what you do with your life.

So it's June, June 2013 and without wanting to seem over-dramatic I really didn't think I was going to be here, not only on this cross trainer but also writing this blog. I will share more about why this is later.

What has become clearer as I have moved through life is the realisation that it is one big journey. We might not see it as a journey but every day we do things differently, while attached to our surroundings, and all the while we are moving forward. For some of us this can be quite challenging, for others pretty mundane as it all depends on what is happening and how we approach whatever is coming our way.

I'm sure you, like me, often look back at where we have come from, how and where we have got to today and all the parts in-between; this is normal, healthy behaviour if you take positives out of what you have experienced and put them to good use in decisions you make in your future.

In all honesty, I never thought I would be doing what I'm doing today when I left school back in 1980 – but then again who actually knows 100 per cent what they want to do as they enter adulthood? The lucky few do, but these are very much in the minority. A lot of us fall into a line of work and then get stuck, having to decide whether we stay (if we’re happy and fulfilled regardless), or face the scariness of looking for a new job or career.

1980 for me was one of the best years of my life because I got away from school and learning; funny to think that educating myself is so dear to my heart now!

After the Winter of Discontent, and a generally disgruntled society, it felt as though we were lurching from the cold 70s into a new decade of hope, a new government, and anything seemed possible.

From my perspective the country needed something to push it forward, to re-energise, to revitalise and to give people that energy to make the difference. We’d had years of unrest in the 70s - I remember the power cuts, the shortages, the strikes and everything else that got in the way of country being the best it could be very well. Change was needed and the 80s was the decade that was going to make a difference.

It took me a few years to realise what my skills were going to be, what I was actually good at and it wasn't until a break later on in the mid-80s that I realised I had a skill with people.  I had always been an ‘agony aunt’ or shoulder to cry on for people I knew having crises, because (they said) I could really listen but also had good advice on what the underlying issues were and what could be done to fix them.

I developed these skills further and then over the 80s and 90s increased my knowledge and experience base in developing personal development training for individuals and groups alike. This job, career, or vocation (whatever word you wish to use) I really do get a great deal of satisfaction from. How many of us can really say that about the work we do?

I'm a firm believer in not just coming and delivering a technique unless I've tried it myself. I could never put my hand on my own heart and say something works unless I knew for certain. There are many out there that say one way does all, one fix does all but I believe we are all unique and we are all different, so we should all make sure that whatever intervention we go for is right for us.

The most prized possession any of us have is our own brain, so treat it with respect, nurture it, build it, make it stronger and the results will be amazing. If you were the proud owner of the most expensive car possible, would you be taking it to a garage that was unsure of how to maintain it? Of course not.

So, to finish this blog; why did I think I wasn't going to be here writing this? Quite simply 18 months ago I was diagnosed with heart disease out of the blue, which was a huge shock.

I was under the impression I was leading a healthy life, but there are a few of us who are apparently ‘silent presenters’, who don’t show any symptoms until it’s almost too late.

Enhanced listening skills also give you the ability to listen to your internal self and luckily I did, giving medicine a chance to sort out a solution before it was too late. So there was me at the age 48 being wheeled down the corridor on a theatre trolley to have a quadruple bypass surgery - thank goodness that by 2012 science had improved so much.

I survived to tell another tale (and write a blog) and also used the techniques that I use on other people, techniques to relax, to think positive and to be re-energised as I know they work. They worked for me then and they will work for you. Proof of the pudding as they say. The Phoenix has certainly re-generated and has risen…

I hope you've enjoyed reading my personal journey in this first blog, please feel free to add any comments that you may have and  we will continue this discussion over the coming weeks and months.