When Empty is a good thing

It had been a very tricky few days here, my daughter, has bouts of deep depression that have led in the past to self-harm and a total pointless existence. For anyone who has faced this, or supported others you will know that like a thick winters fog, it can consume not only the person but those around them.

When the odds are (-ve) stacked the brain processes down as the best option. All you can do is support and be there for that person and try to stay (+ve) much easier said than done.

My daughter has CP and is autistic and processes the world differently to most, added to this the abuse that she faced from a family member, which lasted many years, unknown to us as parents has created the perfect storm of lack of self-worth and personal hate.

We have tried lots of ways to help her, sadly the more critical interventions, when she disclosed the first time were poorly delivered causing even more upset.

So… why have I said empty is a good thing?

The latest depression was big and the flood gates couldn’t hold this one back and broke; it poured and poured – then EMPTY set in, my daughter described that feeling as even worse. I sat and pulled every resource of my learnings over the years, thinking what we could do.

Empty…. EMPTY! What does that look like, sound like, feel like… I said simply, empty means you can now fill it with what you want. No restrictions. No barriers. Its yours. A blank look was given; then I thought, and said – imagine a farmers field, in the winter, nothing in it, but look what happens during the year, crops grow or sometimes its left without. However, its still important and still much wanted and needed. I saw a flutter of eyelids; the brain was processing and a smile.

We had unlocked part of the puzzle, given hope that the future doesn’t have to be empty and I know this wouldn’t have worked if I tried a few years ago, timing is vital to our mental health. So if you are reading this feeling empty, then be kind to yourself and create your field of what you want and who you want in it.

Worth a try, you have nothing to lose when all you see is nothing.